Reverb'12 - Day One: This Day

Firstly, lets pretend that I posted this last night (the actual first day of reverb12) 

I did write this last night, however, I was too exhausted to upload the photos. 

Read on - you will understand.

I am so very grateful that I found out about reverb12.

In a round about way, it found me.

Last year I took part in Blogotberfest, however this year I had barely blogged at all. Only days after returning to blogging regularly, I was contacted by the lovely Kat to join in with Blogotberfest 2012. I couldn't believe that I actually said yes. I certainly found my blogging rhythm again quickly, after months being away from this space.

What I also found on Kat's blog was this thing called 'reverb.' Intrigued, I read more about it, I got excited, ridiculously so, and I marked it in my diary.

So here we are now and 'reverb12' has started today. I feel a little giddy and I have butterflies in my tummy. I'm not sure why. The adventure perhaps? What will this month bring to being? I have felt this year whoosh past. I am excited that something, (a force bigger than me?) is making me stop and take notice of what is happening around me.

I guess my blog will take on a bit of a different feel over the next month. More, how I feel, rather than, what I did. But it is still the silly season and life goes on. There will be plenty of festive posts coming your way as well. 






Now, to start with the first question of the month:



I am sure that Kat didn't expect me to take her question prompts so literally, but today that is what I am going to do. Focusing mainly on today's happenings, I have written two answers to each question. I realise now, that how I felt this morning is different than how I feel tonight.



I read this post this morning before breakfast and this is how I felt.

How are you starting this last month of 2012?
 
how do you feel...

Overwhelmed... I'm not ready. I'm not ready for it to be December first. I not ready for Christmas and all of the pressures that it brings. I'm not ready for 2013 that will be here so very soon. I am expecting a lot from 2013. I want life to be different. I want to be different. It is overwhelming. 

how do you feel in your body?

I am not so tired today, I feel good in myself, I know things will get done. 

how do you feel in your mind?

My mind is unclear, fuzzy and filled with disorganised thoughts. 

Today has been set aside to decorate the house for Christmas, but this morning I spent over an hour sorting out the mess in my cd drawers, a job that has been on my 'to do' list for months. After breakfast, I re-organised the kids wardrobes!

how do you feel in your day job?

Today's plans have had to be changed. I had planned to spend this day at home, doing odd jobs and setting up the Christmas tree and decorations. But as of last night some changes have had to be made: grandparents need to be collected at the airport, extra groceries need to be bought, there is now a Christmas lunch to attend, and spray paint to buy. I need to realise that Christmas is not called the 'silly season' for nothing. 

I need to relax, because if there is anytime when I need to be flexible, it is this time of year. Does it really matter if the kids have ice-cream on a weeknight because I have run out of the organic yoghurt that I buy from half and hour away? Probably not!

how do you feel in your creative life? 

I haven't crafted for almost a year, a few months ago I contemplated giving away all of my fabric and moving my sewing machine to the garage. 

I'm glad that I didn't! Last week I found some Australiana tea towels that I had bought a while back. I spent a quiet afternoon cutting it into bunting pieces to add to my bunting, I had made in January. It was just that one, quiet afternoon that brought the joy of creating, back for me. As Christmas nears, I am bursting to start some Christmas crafting, however I know I will need to schedule it in if it is going to happen. It is safe to say, that my list is a little overwhelming (there's that word again!)

how do you feel in your heart?

Despite the chaos in my head, in my heart I feel at peace. There is acceptance and now my heart seems more open. I'm a little trepidatious for the future. But this morning, there is calm. 








As the day has ended, and with things a little more in place, I feel a little differently about the start of December.

How are you starting this last month of 2012?

how do you feel...

Hopeful... I am ready. I'm ready for it all. Life will not be perfect this December, but I can do my best, to be the best person that I can be, at any given time. Some days I won't feel like it. Some days we will eat eggs for dinner. Some days I will behave badly. But that is OK, at least I will be trying. Hoping and trying and doing and risking.  

Hopeful... because I have a much more achievable 'to do' list written out for tomorrow. There is nothing like crossing off a 'to do' list to give you hope and relieve the stress. 

how do you feel in your body?  

Happily exhausted from my day.


how do you feel in your mind? 

Tired, I believe the expression is 'brain dead.' I have over thought all aspects of my life today (and that's nothing to do with reverb12!) Maybe a movie now or just bed. Yes, sleep. Sleep would be sensible.

how do you feel in your day job? 

My day job can be challenging. Ah yes! I'm a stay at home Mum, most of the people in my family think I sit around and watch TV all day. 

Aspects of my day today, were challenging, but I was proud of the way that I handled the troubles with my children, everyday is a learning curve. Each day I am learning more and understanding more, which I think is the key. Some days I do well and others I do not. But I wouldn't change a thing. I can only aspire to do it better.

how do you feel in your creative life? 

I have minimised my craft 'to do' list since this morning. I have picked out the fabric for a Christmas bunting that I want to make, and have come to terms with the fact that my fabric advent calender may or may not be finished before Christmas. I hope to set aside an hour a day to craft. I'm  making it a priority, so we can have some handmade gifts under the tree. Handmade with love, is important to me. Creating is important to me.

how do you feel in your heart? 

My heart is full. It is filled to the brim with joy when I see my children take on the traditions and routines of our Christmas decorating."Who's turn is it to put the angel on the tree?" "Mum, put the Christmas Carol's on, Dad's got the tree out!" and oh so many more. These are traditions that I have either started, or passed on. It is wonderful to see them delight in the details of life that are so special to me.

I will (fingers crossed) be back later today to join in with Day Two.

And also today, I hope to post over at jelly peaches and ice-cream, all about my 'Nana inspired' roast chicken dinner.

Until then, I am pottering and pondering.

How about you? How are you starting this last month of 2012? Maybe you are joining in with reverb12 too?

One hundred

If my Nana was still alive, she would have turned 100 years old today.

I would loved to have been able to make her a sponge cake, lathered with sweetened whipped cream and piled high with strawberries, her favourite birthday cake. I would have loved for her to sit with my children and I and eat it for afternoon tea. We would have used her good teapot as she always did on her birthdays.

Tonight I am cooking a roast chicken, just the way Nana used to make it. It will be just us, but wouldn't it have been nice to have had all of our family for dinner: my cousins, my aunts and my uncles, around the table once again. Wouldn't it have been nice to be able to share this meal, as we did on so many Sunday's of my childhood.

But no matter where we are or what we are eating, Nana lives on in all of our hearts.

Someone else was also born on this day. A special girl will be turning 13 today. 

Happy birthday Jessica. xo

More sheets!

Look what a friend gave me yesterday.

It's good to let your friends know that you like old stuff.

Have you received any wonderful treasures from a friend or relative lately?

Once upon a time

Once upon a time we owned 5 acres. No house.

We bought it when we still lived in Brisbane. While we loved working and living in Brisbane (it suited us in our twenties) We asked ourselves, what did we want for our future? What did we want for our children? We wanted to be closer to our parents for all of the obvious reasons. Being close with my Nana, I naturally wanted my own children to grow up near their grandparents. We wanted our children to have the freedom that we experienced in our own childhoods. So, years before we were married or had children we bought acreage with beautiful views over rolling green hills, about 40 minutes away from both mine and my husbands parents.

We started making scrapbooks of ideas, planning house designs and listing trees we wanted to plant in our orchard.



But after my son was born and we finally moved to the area, renting not far from our land. I realised that things might not turn out how I had dreamed it. I was lonely and at home with a five month old baby. We were planning for another child. I was in the car six days out of seven driving to see family and friends. I knew then, that I did not want to be alone on a farm from six in the morning until six at night. At that time in our life, my vision of my husband pottering about a little hobby farm, with our families popping in for home baked cakes and pots of tea was not going to be.

It took me a year to convince my husband to sell. This was not the right time and this was not the right place.

A few years ago when I started on (again) about this dream to my family, they all said that we  shouldn't have sold. But I knew then, as I do now, it wasn't right for us. It was a slopping block; we could never have built the type of house that we wanted to or set up our hobby farm as we had envisioned it. We could never have maintained it with such little children and me being alone all day. I have never regretted selling it. Not even now. It was a step we had to take. All leading us to where we are suppose to be.

I am hopeful, not discouraged. When the time is right, we will find ourselves exactly where we are suppose to be.

Farm dreaming

For as long as I can remember I have wanted a farm.

Some of my happiest childhood memories come from the long carefree days spent on my Nana's farm. Her simple life, with days spent in the kitchen and in the garden are what I have always dreamed of. Afternoons on the verandah, with a cup of tea and the sound of the breeze through the trees. A view of open spaces as far as the eye can see. The laughter of children.




I've been a little down this week.

Right now it feels as if that dream is slipping through my fingers. Right now, more than any other time in my life, it's seems as if it will never, ever happen.

I have always had a "where there's a will, there's a way" kind of attitude. "If you believe it, then it will be." But today I wonder; will it be my children climbing trees, building cubby houses, collecting eggs and planting my vegetable garden with me, or will it be my grandchildren? 

A year and a half ago I found the perfect little farm house on five acres. I even went to see it. I fell in love with it and cried all of the 45 minute drive home. It felt so right. The workers cottage on the hill, the old weather beaten sheds, the mature trees, it's location (5 minutes out of town), it's stunning outlook over neighbouring farmland and the giant fig tree complete with a tyre swing!

It was not, however, perfect for everyone in our family. It would be have been over an hour commute each way for my husband to work. We would also be swapping our 4 year old, 4 bedroom, 3 living room, no work required house, for a very basic 2 two bedroom cottage with and outside laundry and no garage. The house was livable with plenty of room for extension and improvement, but it was a comprise that not everyone wanted to make.

I have been watching that house on line. Hoping that the seller would drop the price, even just a little bit, we could have maybe bought it and kept both houses for now. I have even taken lotto tickets. I have searched weekly (sometimes daily - yes, I did get a little obsessed there for a while) to see what else is out there in our area to compare it too. Nothing has even come close. Nothing.




But while I was away in September, it has been sold. I had always felt that if it was meant to be, then something would happen and it could have been ours. I am trying to look on the bright side. Maybe this place must not be were we were meant to be after all, but if so, then where?

I know I am suppose to be happy with where I am and with what I have got. I am. I am so very grateful for all that we have, every single day. But this is a longing that just won't go away.

My Nana spent 40 years of her life on her dream farm, a farm she had fallen in love with when she was just a little girl. She created her world on that farm. As many families of the time, my grandparents were self sufficient. She raised her children and grandchildren on that farm. Many family celebrations and our weekly Sunday dinners were part of that world. I am just hoping to recreate a little piece of that for my own children.

How about you? Are you farm dreaming?

I'm sorry, I'm not sure where all of these images came from. But the ones I do know are from: posie gets cozy, bradshaw and sons, notes for my furture farm, me and alice and my villa life.

A mini break

 

Why did it take me so long to write about our Halloween night?

Because for some of that time, we were away on a mini break. 

While everyone else was working or at school, we enjoyed the solitude of one of our favourite places.

Deserted beaches, and sometimes wild, overcast weather, it was just as we like it. Early beach walks, late afternoon beach walks, wine and beer and snacks: with the sand between our toes and as the sun went down. For 4 days this beach was our backyard. Climbing, collecting, exploring, playing, building, imagining, watching. Barbecue dinners were eaten outside by the playground and every night we ate magnum ice-creams for dessert.

Although we live only 10 minutes from the beach. This is the place that restores my soul - every time. 

Do you have a special holiday place? Maybe a place you keep returning to time and time again? Maybe a tradition of an annual holiday has started in your family, just as it has in mine. Do tell.

New traditions

You know that Blogtoberfest is over when it takes me thirteen days to get around to writing about our Halloween celebrations.

Yes, Halloween is over, the decorations are packed away and all the lollies have been eaten, but I still wanted to write this post. What stuck me most about this Halloween was the community spirit that I found - Right here under my nose!

I know that there are mixed feelings about Halloween, "too commercial" "so American" were expressions I heard leading up to Halloween. But as I mother, I found this night to be an amazing opportunity for my children to dress up and have fun. They joined their friends and met some of our nearest neighbours for the first time. What other time of the year do they get to do that? There are no longer fancy dress balls (the highlight of my primary school years) or street festivals. We are lucky that our small local Christmas Carols are growing bigger each year, but when I was a child we we closed the street and had a good old fashioned street carnival with rides, turkey raffles and the freedom to join friends and run around eating food you usually weren't allowed to eat.

Just a few weeks ago, while at a play date, I wondered out loud, if anyone else found it hard to feel part of a community in the area that we lived. It was unanimous. Everyone at the table said that this was the first year that they had even started to make any friends (I have felt that way too) I have lived here for seven years, others have lived in the area for 11 and 14 years!

As I walked around with the children and the other mum's, that I am just starting to get to know, I realised that this is what we all needed. The mums, the kids, our community. We live in a world of closed doors. I have only spoken to my neighbour twice in a year. When he moved in, we approached him in the driveway to introduce ourselves and I think he got the shock of his life. I discovered so many lovely, giving people, happily greeting the kids at the doors with bowls full of lollies and chocolates. For the first time in a long time, I felt, on that night, part of a community. And it was all good.

Who really cares what Halloween means anyway!

This year, things were a little different. Last year I had promised the kids that they could trick or treat.

The day before Halloween, in between a doctors appointment and a teachers interview, I made a quick stop at Sam's Warehouse (some days, somethings got to give) Without too much thought I bought 2 x $1.00 red (plastic) capes. The initial costume requests were a red devil with a tulle skirt and wings and a zombie covered with snakes and spiders, I was grateful to find the kids very adaptable in the costume department. They were happy: it was Halloween and they would be joining their friends for trick or treating. That was really all that mattered.

Anyway, they thought they looked pretty scary.

On Halloween morning, before yet another appointment with the school, I cooked bat wings (chicken wings) and goblin face pies served with blood (tomato sauce). Because we would be trick or treating this year I was playing down the spooky food. Instead of our usual feast, it was to be a snack, eaten after our trick or treating. Also on the menu, was moldy cheese, deep fried mice brains (popcorn) and witches wee (orange juice)

Spunky Monkey had two of his friends join us at the house, with arrangements made to meet Miss Moo Moo's friends down the road. Her prep class was right into it, a few of them had done the spooky food parties, just like us, last year and the year before.

Trick or treating was straight away FUN!

And it just got better.



Our small group of 5 set off, knocking on door after door without fear. Everyone one was so receptive. With the trick or treat bags starting to get full we caught up with Miss Moo Moo's friends about half and hour later. Our group of 5 turned into about 25 kids. Pure chaos, but of the very best kind.

We walked a few more streets and then we turned into our street, I was laughing at the spectacle of it all, then I turned and looked behind me.  

Oh my - where was I? 

Our street had been transformed into a Halloween Street Festival.

Ghosts, skeletons, goblins, witches, devils, ghouls, pumpkin heads, monsters, dead princesses, black cats and superhero's blocked the road, darting this this way and that, from this house to that and the next and the next. There were squeals and laughter and happy chatter. So many friendly faces happily opening there doors and getting into the fun of it all. Mums, dad's, grandparents and babies.

As we got closer to home, we discovered a few friends had even transformed there garages into spooky Halloween caves! After an hour and a half it was time to call it quits. It was hard work getting our kids inside and leaving such a festive atmosphere.

Back at home, the craziness continued, Spunky Monkeys friends stayed, but it was only the parents who ate anything. Heaps of scary people came to our door to collect their treats, until we ran out, I turned of the lights and shut the door at 9:00pm. We walked outside to say goodnight to our guests, there was a few stragglers in the street, mainly teenagers, have you ever seen a mummy on a skateboard? After waving goodbye, I turned and saw the moon. It was full, with an eerie yellow glow that I hadn't seen before. It was the most perfect Halloween moon. I stood for a while on the front lawn staring, I half expected to see the silhouette of a witch on a broomstick pass before it.

But alas... one never did.