Farm dreaming

For as long as I can remember I have wanted a farm.

Some of my happiest childhood memories come from the long carefree days spent on my Nana's farm. Her simple life, with days spent in the kitchen and in the garden are what I have always dreamed of. Afternoons on the verandah, with a cup of tea and the sound of the breeze through the trees. A view of open spaces as far as the eye can see. The laughter of children.




I've been a little down this week.

Right now it feels as if that dream is slipping through my fingers. Right now, more than any other time in my life, it's seems as if it will never, ever happen.

I have always had a "where there's a will, there's a way" kind of attitude. "If you believe it, then it will be." But today I wonder; will it be my children climbing trees, building cubby houses, collecting eggs and planting my vegetable garden with me, or will it be my grandchildren? 

A year and a half ago I found the perfect little farm house on five acres. I even went to see it. I fell in love with it and cried all of the 45 minute drive home. It felt so right. The workers cottage on the hill, the old weather beaten sheds, the mature trees, it's location (5 minutes out of town), it's stunning outlook over neighbouring farmland and the giant fig tree complete with a tyre swing!

It was not, however, perfect for everyone in our family. It would be have been over an hour commute each way for my husband to work. We would also be swapping our 4 year old, 4 bedroom, 3 living room, no work required house, for a very basic 2 two bedroom cottage with and outside laundry and no garage. The house was livable with plenty of room for extension and improvement, but it was a comprise that not everyone wanted to make.

I have been watching that house on line. Hoping that the seller would drop the price, even just a little bit, we could have maybe bought it and kept both houses for now. I have even taken lotto tickets. I have searched weekly (sometimes daily - yes, I did get a little obsessed there for a while) to see what else is out there in our area to compare it too. Nothing has even come close. Nothing.




But while I was away in September, it has been sold. I had always felt that if it was meant to be, then something would happen and it could have been ours. I am trying to look on the bright side. Maybe this place must not be were we were meant to be after all, but if so, then where?

I know I am suppose to be happy with where I am and with what I have got. I am. I am so very grateful for all that we have, every single day. But this is a longing that just won't go away.

My Nana spent 40 years of her life on her dream farm, a farm she had fallen in love with when she was just a little girl. She created her world on that farm. As many families of the time, my grandparents were self sufficient. She raised her children and grandchildren on that farm. Many family celebrations and our weekly Sunday dinners were part of that world. I am just hoping to recreate a little piece of that for my own children.

How about you? Are you farm dreaming?

I'm sorry, I'm not sure where all of these images came from. But the ones I do know are from: posie gets cozy, bradshaw and sons, notes for my furture farm, me and alice and my villa life.