My most important relationship

Reverb'12 Question 8: What was your most important relationship?

I am in many relationships, as are you. I am mother, daughter, wife, friend, cousin, aunt, niece, sister-in-law, granddaughter and daughter-in-law.

Being a mother, is my most important role, but it is not my most important relationship.

Without question, my most important relationship is with my cousin. Without her I don't think I could cope with all of those other relationships. I know that I went on about about finding inner strength just a few days ago. Well, yes, I am getting there. But that comes and goes. My cousin is a constant, always there with exactly what I need every single time.

Considering the idea that nothing lasts forever: what was the most important relationship that you fostered in 2012? How will you continue to nurture it in 2013?

I have had other great friendships, but life changes and people change, friendships rarely last forever. However this relationship; a combination of family, friendship and history are strong and I know that I will always have it. I feel so very blessed. In 2013 I can only continue being me (that is good enough for her) and hope to be as supportive and as inspirational to her, as she has been to me.

This special someone is having a birthday today. I wish I was there. xo.

Happy Birthday!

What was your most important relationship in 2012?

I know that I have posted this photo of my cousin before, but my two other favourite photos were (1) so old and grainy that when I enlarged the photo the two of us were unrecognizable and (2) this one was another photo of the two of us that I love, my cousin looks so beautiful, however it was taken a day before my son was born and I am blown up like a puffer fish!

Making choices

Reverb'12 Question 7: What's the one thing you want to take with you into 2013?

It is this quote, I can't remember where I read it, it was sometime mid year and it just stuck with me.

"I am who I am becoming, not who I have been."

Do you have a favourite inspirational quote?

This beautiful painting is by the amazingly talented Janet Hill. I wonder if it is too late to add a couple of her prints to my christmas wish list?

Lessons

Reverb'12 Question 6: What did you learn?

2012 has been quiet a journey. It has only been during the last month that I have realised all that I have gained from this, my least favourite year. I learned:

• The only thing that's constant in life is change, I might not like it, but I will be OK.

• I can love someone and help them when they need me, but I can only guide them, I can't change their way of thinking. I know that sometimes I need to walk away with the knowledge that I have done all that I can.

• I can love someone and help them when they need me, but I must still make myself the priority, I am no good to anybody if I am sleep deprived or not eating well.

• That I am only human, I will make mistakes and do things that I am not proud of. That everyday is a new day and I can aim to do better.

• That I am everything that I need. If I look deep within, I am there; with strength, confidence and love.

The last point is a bit 'Eat, Pray, Love' but it's true. This realisation is slow and the journey continues. It's a process. Day by day, I am growing more confident with the decisions that I am making for my future and how I want to live my life.

What did you learn during 2012? Was it a life lesson or a perhaps a new skill?

The image above is by the wonderful Nikki McClure.

Still dreaming....

Reverb'12 Question 5: What was your dream destination in 2012 and why? 


























I didn't make it, but it was Tasmania.

Why? For the food! For local wines and artisan beers. For growers markets and pick-your-own-farms. For antique stores. For seasons. For history. For the wilderness. For country drives. For fireplaces.

Why? because Mt Wellington was the very first place that I ever saw snow. I was eight. Mt Wellington was the very first place that my husband ever saw snow. He was eight. My kids are desperate to see snow. I think Mt Wellington would be a good place to start, don't you?

Why? Because for a very long time I have wondered... could I? would I? should I? move to Tasmania.

Why? Because there is no point dreaming about riads in Morocco, farmhouses in Sweden or beach houses in Uruguay, until you know your 'place' in your everyday life. 

Is Tasmania the 'place' for me? In 2013, I would like to get a chance to find out.

I have written about my Tasmanian dreaming before.

What is your dream destination?

These images are from all over the beautiful apple isle: Island Menu (one of my favourite food blogs - check it out) Slow Food Hobart, The Agrarian Kitchen (I am so desperate to visit this place), And sometimes I just sit and lastly the lovely Hugo and Elsa.

Looking after you

It seems that I have set my own rhythm for the reverb'12 challenge. I wholeheartedly intend to respond to all of the 31 questions, however it will be at a slower pace, I suspect, I'll be taking these musings into the new year.

It is simply not possible for me to be here everyday. This coming week is the children's last week at school and I will be at school everyday too. There is a 'wet play day', a carols concert, a Christmas craft day, and separate break-up parties for both Spunky Monkey and Miss Moo Moo. There is 'bring a plate' cooking to be done for each.

With that said, it is appropriate, I think, to be answering the following question today.

Reverb'12 Question 4: How are you going to celebrate your self this festive season? 

I would love to tell you that I'm taking off for a week of solitude. Somewhere fabulous, somewhere cold. Somewhere with impeccable food, a roaring log fireplace and a great book. Somewhere where I could snuggle deep under a fluffy doona and role over and go back to sleep in the morning. Somewhere where I could pad around in Swedish woollen socks on aged floorboards. Somewhere that I could sit in an over sized chair and look out of the window with a cup of french hot chocolate.

But that's not what's happening, it's not even possible. So I have gone to Plan B, which perhaps is a better idea all together.

I am entertaining!

No, I am not talking about the Christmas lunch that I am preparing for my family or the New Year's Eve barbecue that I am having with my cousins and their children. I'm talking about real entertaining - with friends! This Christmas, I have completely stepped out of my comfort zone and invited twenty mum's from school to a "Long Table Christmas Dinner" (mum's only) To be honest, I'm a little out of practise. The couple times that I have done this in the last eight years, were not that successful, I forgot things and having small children underfoot was very disruptive. Entertaining is who I am, it is time that I return to it. I am excited.

You can read a little bit more about my love affair with food here.

What about you, what are you doing, just for you, this festive season?

Maybe you are throwing a Christmas party too?

The image above is from this website, take a peek, if you are into beautiful wedding photography, you won't be disappointed.

A life unhurried

Reverb'12 Question 3: What do you really wish for?

Cam from Curlytops prompts: Imagine a scenario where you only had one year left to live. What is one thing that you really wish to do that you just haven't had the chance to accomplish yet?

And Kat adds: what steps could you take (however small) to ensure that you accomplish this thing in 2013?

It is interesting that Cam uses this scenario. I have asked myself this question more than once in the last few months, to try and establish want it is that I really want from this life.

If I was, in fact ill, I would need to resist the urge to jump on the next plane and live out my days in rural France, Italy, Sweden, England or somewhere in the hills of Eastern Europe. It would be selfish to move so far away from my extended family. But could I resist putting my house on the market and moving to a beautiful old cottage on few acres? I don't think so. In fact, I know so. I need to be in an old house. I lived my entire childhood in an old house with high ceilings and vj's. The first house I bought was an old house, with high ceilings, vj's, polished floorboards and lots of light. While this new house where we live is wonderful, it has no character. Whenever I walk into an old house it is like getting a warm hug from a treasured friend.

In a heart beat I would move, to live my dream life.

When I first read this question, I was going to say: "All I wish for is a little farm." But here is the great thing about pondering a question that been asked by someone else. That's not it at all. (If you are interested, I've written about the perfect house here before.) But it's what we would do there that matters. Even if I was dying, this place would be where we would grow. A place to put down roots, both literally and figuratively. Home. Together, as a family, we would learn important life skills. We would learn through trial and error, about how to live a more sustainable life. And when I am gone, my children will have a place to call home. A place where they will remember building a tree house in the old jacaranda tree or planting outing out the orchard. They will go off and travel the world but one day they will want to return, to this place. Home. They will come back and wander through the birthday garden that they planted and when they sit down at the kitchen table they would remember it filled with cooling racks of freshly baked cookies.

I wish for a life unhurried. I wish for gentle moments to hear my children's voices. I wish to be a better role model.

Naturally, much of this can happen exactly where I am (now where have heard that before?!) and it is. Traditions have been made and passed on, so for now that will be enough. We will work on the things that we can take along with us through our lives. We will dream on, as our life continues to happen right here, but we will slow down, just a little, so to not miss to much of it.

Here are some small steps that I can take to help me accomplish my wishes:

1) First and foremost, I must get more organised. When I make a routine, I must stick to it. I am to adopt a 'just do it' attitude. For example, although I may be exhausted, it really only takes two minutes to do a quick sweep of the kitchen floor or wash that grimy baking tray in the sink. Because everyone knows that waking up to a clean kitchen, means a very happy mummy. As well as making routines that work, decluttering is high on the priority list for 2013.

2) Schedule in some 'me time'. It is hard to be a calm and happy mother when you have left no time in your life for yourself. I should know. By taking time to do something just for me, means I am a nicer person to be around.

3) Watch what I spend. I have recently started to save - yes save! This is something I haven't done in 8 years since finishing work. It's not much, it won't buy a little farm, but we might be able to take a holiday. We loved, our recent road trip, with all of us seeing and experiencing new things together. And this will help with Step 4.

4) Visit other places. Do I want to live somewhere else? If so where? What area most suits our needs, finances and wishes? Perhaps in the end, I will find this is the perfect area for us to live after all. But I need to know for certain. So more road trips it is.

What about you, what are you really wishing for?

And what are you doing to accomplish your goals?

'The Good Life'

There is an old saying: "start as you wish to continue."

If that's the case, things could be looking pretty bleak for the month of December. Despite my excitement of joining up with reverb'12, I have been finding it hard to get anywhere near the computer this week.

Oh, these December days are busy!

... and hot!

I am reminded of the kind words from Kat about reverb'12 - "be gentle" and then there are my own words from my last post, "December will not be perfect." So I'll do what I can, when I can.

As I have gone about my day, I have been constantly thinking of the daily prompts for reverb'12. It's good to think for a while, to ponder. I find that I have found a deeper meaning to the questions by doing this. Pondering, thinking, reminiscing, soul searching, evaluating, realising.

Reverb'12 Question 2: What was your most significant expenditure in 2012?

(It doesn't have to be necessarily the biggest expenditure, just the one with the most impact.
What difference has it made to your life?)



Of course, it is a book. 

'A Greener Life' is the book that has changed, not only my thinking, but the direction of my life and the path I want it to take for the future. I first discovered it in a coffee shop back in 2011. My daughter and I ate here for both breakfast and lunch on a day we spent in Toowoomba. 

Often my daughters slow eating can get a little frustrating, but on this day, I was grateful for it. With time on my side, I poured over every page and picture in this book. At this time in my life, my thoughts had only recently returned to my dream of owning a little hobby farm. After discovering this book, I was gone! There would be no turning back. All of my old ideas and dreams were re kindled. Here is was, contained in a beautiful photographed book for our times (yes, I do like books with pretty pictures) All of the inspiration and practical advise that I needed was within reach.

Growing your own food, looking after the soil, companion planting, herb gardens and herbal remedies, wild food and how to get it, livestock: cows, pigs, sheep, goats, poultry and game, preparing a bird for the pot, bee keeping, fish farming, domestic animal care, pests, candle making, soap making, weaving, felting, dying with natural dyes, knitting, quilting, mending, making butter, making cheese, baking bread, smoking, potting, and drying food, brewing, wine making, preserving, natural paints, alternative energy and homemade green cleaners.

This is how I wanted to live my life. OK, I realise that all of this is not going to happen. I know for a fact, that I am never going to buy a sheep, shear it, spin the wool and knit a jumper from it. But isn't nice to know that I could, if I really wanted to. In reality, I hope to end up with plenty of space for the kids to run around, a vegetable garden and a chicken coup. Then I can take on want I really want from there. I would be in a different place in my life. To buy a little hobby farm, adjustments and compromises would need to be made. So maybe some bees, maybe a few pigs, but maybe I will need to go to work full time instead. That is the future, I can dream and wish and hope for something, but I can not foresee the future.

This book is not a one stop shop of information. I am saying that this was the book that significantly changed things for me. It prompted me to pull a pile of self sufficiency books from my bookshelves and borrow similar kinds of books from the library. I joined a permaculture group and made more preserves than ever before.

At the start of this year, I was poking about on Book Depository and found a hardcover copy of this book for just $12.00! I bought it immediately and it sits either by my bed or on the coffee table for inspiration.

While we are on the subject of significant books. There are a few more that I read during 2012 that made quite an impact. Rhonda's wonderful book "Down to Earth" was a gift from a very special someone. And the other three were from the library (so not an expenditure) - "The Radical Homemaker" ,"Simplicity Parenting" and "Depletion and Abundance" All of these books have adjusted my way of looking at things and all of them, including "The Greener Life" came into my life at exactly the right time.

 What are you reading right now?

What books have made a dramatic impact on your life?

What was your most significant expenditure in 2012?